Origins

In Taoism and other esoteric practices, it is said that the body has seven layers or energetic veils that protect it from the outside world. When you’re in a crowd, such as at a festival or in a shopping mall, or packed into an airplane or bus, it’s healthy to have boundaries so that people don’t invade your personal space. The Seven Veils ensure that you are protected. They also play a significant role in intimacy.

The Dance of the Lovers

In a way, lovemaking begins with the first eye contact. When you feel that intense spark, it has begun. What follows is a dance that goes through different phases and can ultimately lead to the final phase: the Seventh Veil. The ritual of the Seven Veils aims to channel this delicate process, especially by slowing down. With the ritual of the Seven Veils, you enter each phase one by one, very carefully and with the utmost respect. Only when a certain level of intimacy has been fully experienced do you move on to the next veil. Impatience, coercion, or pressure play no role in this way of lovemaking. There is no obligation, no rush; only the soft whisper of the Seven Veils, translated into subtle feelings of desire, tenderness, and lust, or possibly detachment and coolness.

There is no guarantee or promise that one phase will lead to the next. You can change your mind, realizing halfway through that this wasn’t such a good idea after all. Listen to the wisdom of your body, which is always right.

The Ritual of the Seven Veils

The ritual of the Seven Veils, an ancient Taoist practice, teaches you how to be fully present during lovemaking. You can use the ritual of the Seven Veils to start a relationship with a new lover, or it can take your love life with your current partner to a whole new level. If successful, this intense process can heal old wounds and change rusty patterns. Sometimes, through pure presence during lovemaking, you realize that you no longer want to make love to this person, which can be a very liberating insight.

A Trip Down Memory Lane

Most of us will have several years of sexual experience before deciding to do the ritual of the Seven Veils. With each veil, there is the possibility that memories and strong emotions will arise. The body remembers everything it has ever experienced. Your sexual past becomes more visible with each veil you enter. In a way, you start over. The goal is to stay at each veil for as long as necessary to fully enjoy it, healing wounds from the past. Each veil helps you become whole again. This is a process of returning to innocence, your natural state.

A New Way of Lovemaking

What the ritual of the seven veils asks of you is patience and dedication to your partner, as well as to yourself. It can be embarrassing and uncomfortable when unexpected feelings arise, but you can work through them together. It’s hard to wait or even stop, especially when you’re aroused, but that’s exactly the point. It’s about unlearning to force or rush something, or to be overtaken by excitement. What then emerges is a much more subtle way of lovemaking that slowly but surely increases your sensitivity. The scope of what you can experience will unfold in ways that will amaze you.

Seven Moons with One Lover

The original time period for the ritual of the Seven Veils is six months, or rather six lunar phases of 28 days. The seventh veil is only one day. Traditionally, you enter this final phase on the day of the seventh full moon. You start the ritual on each full moon and then go through the different stages, one veil at a time, with each subsequent full moon. This means a full commitment to this ritual for six months. It also requires dedication to respecting the boundaries of each specific phase, no matter how much you want to cross that boundary.

Other Options and Guidelines

Beforehand, you can choose to shorten the process to six weeks or even six days. This is fine, but it will change the quality and intensity of the ritual. The most important thing is to commit to something you think you can stick to. Even more important is that you fully trust your partner. This is actually a prerequisite. Without mutual trust, it’s better not to undertake this process together. If you do the ritual of the Seven Veils with one person, it’s not intended for you to have sex with another person, watch porn, or masturbate, as this defeats the purpose of the ritual.

Prioritize the Process

Agree on a realistic timeframe, such as an hour per day or two hours every two or three days. Try to come together every day, if possible. Don’t let the intervals last longer than three days. Prioritize this process; make it important, more important than work or anything else – because it is! Take time to gently explore the veil you’re on, while naturally integrating the previous veils. For example, at the Fifth Veil, you don’t immediately jump into heavy petting. However, it doesn’t have to take four hours to get there either. Just relax into the process and trust the natural flow of things.

How to Prepare

Prepare for the ritual in your own way. It’s important that you feel safe and comfortable. You can prepare the space with candles, soft pillows, and blankets. Lock the door so no one can disturb you. Turn off your phones and play beautiful music. Make this a special time for the two of you.

Completing the Ritual with the Seventh Veil

The Seventh Veil represents ejaculation in the vagina. This veil is not like the six preceding phases. It would be exhausting to ejaculate for 28 days in a row! Tradition says that once you reach the Seventh Veil, the ritual is complete. What you do afterward is entirely up to you, but it’s good to know that the Seventh Veil is a one-time experience in this specific ritual. In Taoism, men generally don’t ejaculate more than once every 28 days, but I’ll save that for another article.